The buffalo wins: Indonesian folktale parody
by Ms-Octoberry
Summary: The story of Minangkabau parables the conquest over the raw might of an   oppressor by the guile of the oppressed. Well, that's the original folktale anyway. Watch as a group of Neverlanders fight to protect their land from a Mediterranean king.


If you guys know the original story please don't hesitate to laugh your butts off.

As this is an AU, I've decided to use human names.

Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz.

Mulai!

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><p>In a galaxy far far away... Oh sorry wrong start. *cough* Oh right here we are...<p>

Hundreds of years ago, the Mediterranean was ruled by a powerful king. And yet he was not satisfied with his huge possessions; he wanted to add the entire island of... Umm... Neverland to his kingdom. He sent a message to the people of Neverland.

_I am now ruler of all these islands around you. Your island will soon be added to my kingdom. Surrender now or I will come with my men to conquer you; I'd have fun doing that. So come and challenge me instead!_

The People of Neverland were terrified.

"Ve, ve, Ludwig what do we do? The king has thousands of men. We'll be defeated for sure! I'm too young to die and... Oh no! I broke the pasta again!" Feliciano started crying over his pasta and he wailed and wailed.

"Che Palle!We are no match for him," Feliciano's elder brother, Lovino added.

"If we go to war, we are sure to lose," Francis sighed, "And more importantly, what will happen to big brother if we do?"

"Shut up Frog nobody cares what happens to you if we lose! But I agree, we must try and find a way to avoid war at all costs!"

Everyone agreed, they decided to hold a meeting to decide on what to do.

"How about we create a huge superhero and tell him to fight off the king's army?"

"Kesesese, that would be awesome!" Gilbert agreed.

"You gits! That'll never work, where are we supposed to find a giant superhero?" Arthur screamed, hitting Alfred on the head for his ridiculous idea.

"Well, personally I agree with neither Alfred nor Arthur," Francis smoothly said, causing both of the mentioned idiots to emit harsh angry words.

After much discussion, a villager suggested that there should be a battle between buffaloes instead.

"Hm! I've got an idea, how about we arrange a battle between two buffalo with each side bringing a buffalo to the field." Ludwig recommended. "If our buffalo wins, then the king would leave use alone to continue to be free. But if the buffalo belonging to the king wins then we will surrender to him." Neverland was famous for their wonderful specimens of animals.

The very next day, they sent a messenger to take took this proposal the king. The king and his men were thrilled.

The king smiled and said "We have strong buffaloes and many splendid specimens as well to choose from. I am sure we will win. Herakles! Gupta! Go and bring me the toughest buffalo you can find."

"Another conquest?" Herakles yawned. "Why do we even need to do this?"

"Just do it Herakles," Gupta mumbled.

So it was set. The king sent the meanest, most powerful buffalo. They brought it to Sumatra to prepare for the out coming battle. The people of Sumatra heard about the buffalo and again gathered to discuss their plan. They were worried. After rejecting many suggestions, they were even more discouraged.

"Why don't we jus give up? Ve? I already made white flags for everyone!" Feliciano seemed very delighted with his idea, but everyone was glaring daggers at him. Feliciano being Feliciano still could not read the atmosphere.

"I have a buffalo calf that is still with its mother. Why can't we take it from its mother and …"

"I know! We can make a calf fight the giant buffalo; we'll put sharpened pieces of metal to its horny sheaths da ze! And then

**(sorry the following words will be censored because they will reveal to much of the storyline and spoil the story for all of you).**

So what do you guys think?"

"Hey that seems like a good idea aru!"

"But I haven't finished yet." Kiku garbled "Then we ….. Oh … never mind. He stole my idea again."

The calf was taken from its mother. Sharpened pieces of metal were attached to its horny sheaths to make them look like horns. On the third day, a messenger ran to the camp to let the king know that they are now ready for battle. The king brought their huge, magnificent buffalo to the battlefield. I looked mean, powerful and impatient. The Neverlandians brought a skinny, moaning calf that could hardly stand steady on its 4 legs. The king's men looked at the calf and laughed out loud.

"Do you really think that can defeat us?" Elizaveta alleged.

Gilbert growled and retaliated, "Of course it can!"

The big buffalo and the calf eyed each other across the field. *Insert a Wild West song* The buffalo saw a wobbly-legged calf and did nothing. The calf was oh so very hungry.

It thought that the buffalo was its mother. So it ran across the field and nudged the belly of the buffalo, looking for milk.

The sharp, pointed pieces of iron ripped into the big buffalo's belly. With a roar of agony, the great beast began to run across the battlefield. The little calf ran after it. The big buffalo kept running, blood pouring from its wounds. Finally, the giant buffalo fell and the people rejoiced.

The king and his soldiers said not a word then they quietly left the battlefield. The villagers put a wreath of flowers around the neck of the little buffalo calf and led it to its mother.

"And this folks is the end to my story, thank you for listening," Brunei concluded.

"Oh Brunei, not you too!" Indonesia cried, "First Malaysia and now you."

"What are you talking about, big sister?" Brunei quietly asked.

"See, I told you she was crazy," Malaysia whispered.

"You two stole my stories." Indonesia wailed.

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><p>If you didn't realize, the king was Sadik Adnan.<p>

The original story is "The Origin of Minangkabau". Minangkabau means "Buffalo wins". Please check out he original folktale.

So what do you guys think of it?


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